Friday, August 24, 2007
its all ranting, so dont read, you are not obliged to anyway.
i had the most awful night yesterday.
i kept crying and it was so horrible that my mum had to enter my room and snuggle in bed with me.
the meds ( i took the damn last pill)
plus that sudden rage of fever made me very jumpy.
i detest the very fact that my brother barges into MY room at 3-4 am.
turn my lights on, strides into the room and takes whatver he bloody wants.
it scared the shit out of me cuz im a light sleeper and these few days, he has been bringing guys home.
when i say light sleeper, i mean.
the turn of a doorknob wakes me up.
and i can NEVER for shits sake go back to sleep after that.
and ....... (im tryin not to use any swear words)
i thought i was bloody hallucinating.
all their fagging and drinking.
they will kill themselves one day.
its 1048 am now and the lack of sleep hasnt done anything to me.. Yet.
im hyperventilating at the thought of having to go down to Damai secondary myself later to do a damn oral test.
oh gawd why did i get a b3 for english last year.
so bloody unfair.
i feel like sucha wimp.
seriously i DONT WANT TO RETAKE THE DAMN O LEVELS.
less than 2 months left and i've only JUST STARTED on maths.
i hate complaining about this.
i really dunno what the hell is wrong with me.
yesterday @ R's hse, i got struck with the sudden realization that the Tp gang's gona finish their exams on the 30th of august.
and then, they are gona work.
Who's gg to study with me?
no bloody motivation to sit by myself.
damnit its raining.
the skies depict how i feel.
ha ha ha look im practicing for oral ha ha.
and it sucks even more that zer who's takin her Os this year.
has to study her other subjects, has to go to sch Daily and whoppe cant meet me to study at all.
maybe .. uh Once a week?
my morale's getting damn low.
i think im gg to start crying again.
Help me be strong God.
turn my E8 into an A2 and my b3 into an A1.
only this way can my pathetic 17 points turn into 9.
im damn EFFING stupid.
shld be in poly year 2 next year.
kns. Freshie again.
bloody shit to every single bloody shit. my bro is shit. cant sleep is shit. everything is shit.
i wish i could swear but i cant .
maybe we'll go too far,we just dont care