Tuesday, October 30, 2007
O levels are finally over, Disquiet satisfaction.
O levels are finally over for me.
i walked to Damai sec today with frazzled nerves and an overwhelming urge to just puke.
i couldnt remember anything that i tried to cram from 5pm till 2 am last night
and from 4-7 plus am this morning.
i was tired tired tired and i was petrified.
and these words really spoke to me.
"see your reflection
im lost in your peace
your faithfulness sings over me."
a sense of calmness wash over me kinda gently and really, as i walked.
everything just got better.
i reached the toilet and i found out that i forgot to bring my protractor which seemed ridiculously dumb and careless of me i know. and i started tearing and then suddenly a girl walked in and sat beside me.
i was stunned.
talked to God and suddenly i turned to the girl and you know what.
she had an extra one and i ,once again. felt that same wave of calmness.
i prayed so hard. i cried so much (sorry to the few that i've called and thanks for being there. )
for this paper 2.
after the shock yesterday, i couldnt bear it anymore.
i was so afraid that transformations would come out.
all my favourite topics came out.
no transformations. none at all.
but i got caught up in this state of panic.
i felt so cold and cramps of anxiety.
felt like someone was washing me down with ice cubes inner outer in and out and i just
STARED BLANKLY At the first question.
which had the word film, rolls, photographs and then i started thinkin about mass comm and how my life is so screwed if i dont get in next year.
i did that questions 5 times.
read it a hundred over times.
i was exasperated. and i felt so bloody low.
kept praying and praying.
skip skip skip.
then suddenly that peace again.
i had blanks but i felt.
that this paper was a gazillion times better than yesterday's.
i didnt know how to do many questions.
a sense of disquiet satisfaction.
satisfied that its finally over.
now i have to spend the next 6 months worrying if i pass or not.
i need a minimum C.
what a joke. i aimed b3 and now im being oppressed by the haunting fact that i might fail again.
im. so scared you know.
but itsover. and all i can do is shove this mounting worry to the back of my mind.
i walked out of Damai today.
thankful that its finally finally over.
I leave everything to Him now.
im so grateful.
and so damn proud to be a christian.
so this page is finally alive again and this is gona be a longg post.
many things happened this cuppa of days.
Down to Home club for the flea market with my sexy mudpie and hot legs nette.
got some pretty gr8 deals.
like. $5 for this green F21 dress.
plus 1 bag ,another dress and a top.
furrreeakin chip chip chip.
muffin loves sexy mudpie
Down to simei starbucks to meet bestie and biee.
i was pretty high and being super annoying.
i couldnt decide where to eat and they let me choose so in the end we waited awfully long for npok 9.
down to simpang.
my nice indian uncle gave me my strawberry prata with discount again.
i really think he likes me.
best and bie went mad on the bus back to starbucks.
they kept screaming that i didnt wear bra and can see my nipples.
nowadays the girls ah.
damn brazen and bold leh.
look at this.
studied till late then got a lift from pris's sis, pamela. =)
FOR YOU CONS
WE MISS YOU.
bestie cannot take pictures at night one. hahaha
Adriel told me that i shouldnt not go church just because i have exams the next day.
i seriously agree but its just that
kyc service starts at 130 till 4 plus and its at cityhall.
so. he told me to go his church with him.
service was alright.
CMC has a lot of hot girls who can dress very well.
the guys got these pai kia look not as in beng beng pai kia but like big boys liaoxworxx pai kia look.
nasty sheep dont wana take picture with me.
we separated ways at bedok inter.
he left for pasir ris and i went down to simei starbucks.
studied by myself and then mummy came and we blew 30 bucks on starbucks (pun intended)
after she left, i continued mugging.
suddenly Mj boy's friend came over and asked me if i was takin Os tmr. (as in monday)
said yeah and then he wanted to borrow my book so okok let you take.
10 minutes l8er, he comes back and passes this box of biscuits to me and i just pointed at it and went huh?
his very original reply,
then he walks away and of course i wasnt about to run after him and go
ZOMG IS IT FOR ME OMGAWD!
so i left that biscuits sitting there even though i was very tempted to open up and gobble it down like a hungry wolf.
night time and i was busy talkin to bestie ,freakin out on the phone.
mj boy suddenly shifted seats and man, right beside me.
no i wasnt distracted ok.
too stressed out over the lack of preparations to even bother and then suddenly, this guy comes up to me and ask
"are you takin your Os tmr?"
to which i replied
and then he wants to my borrow my freakin maths book the same maths book wthellhell hell why is everyone robbing me of my maths book why why why.
so i graciously said yes and he stood there beside my table, flippin flippin flippin pages and okayyyy
i got really distracted then suddenly this girl comes up and talk to me.
she's like a regular like me and then haha we started talkin and she's pretty cool.
about 10 plus.
suddenly got round to talkin to mj boy and he taught me some questions and mann.
he knows mereith too.
i think the world mj knows mereith luh.
he suddenly asked if i wanted to go grab a bite with him and man, tts kinda odd aint it.
so we went over to Bk i brought my book to study but to be honest, the book was just there as decor cause we spent the whole 20 minutes talkin about who we know and the argument over the colour of his shirt the previous day.
quite a funny fella.
5 mins overshoot my self proclaimed break so i quickly excused myself and then i flew back to starbucks.
packed up and cabbed home.
that was sunday.
yesterday was the worst day. stupid monday.
today is tuesday and today i am free but there's no one to celebrate with.
Today is tuesday and that marks the beginnings of A levels.
All the best derrick, kim yip, mereith, Adriel and for the other gazillion A level-takers in puny lil sg.
gona head down to east coast to meet bestie and hopefully poo poo l8er =)
thanks for the messages and calls of encouragement everyone
especially my dear best friend pris. =)
thanks zerzer,bie,win win, gabby, de lun, chanel,twinny,sean, atiqah, XIXIANG, hui jun,aikey, Adriel Choo, CONS, YING NUO , bernie,chappy,diane,BENSTER,sara and the first person who sent me, RACHieeeee, =)
im sorry if i left anyone out.
i love you guys. =)
to you : thanks..
Labels: Damai Sec, home club, O levels, Over, simei starbucks
maybe we'll go too far,we just dont care