nick, the shipwreck, and bintan's not so fine beach.
no seriously, what am i supposed to do with this life?
so many things i need and yearn to experience and feel..
but the fear of stepping out, of making something out of nothing
when okay i've to stop trying to be so negative but things have not been going right for years and years and years and everytime i try to be the happiest i can be, something quiet and quivering says you know its not going to last and ITS TRUE, its really fucking true, not to mention frustrating plus throw in scary. i hate this, hate how everything about the word FUTURE scares me, and most of all, the word CHANGE.
nick is going to army in approximately 1 month and 5 days.
i am going to leave the place i've been staying to another place thats not home but at least mum is there.
i am going to have to seriously find a job.
the scariest of all, is the fact that i have to be independent and grow used to being alone, on my own and not seeing the face i've loved and gotten used to, everyday for the past 7 months.
im going to miss you like hell.