im feeling so very very nostalgic and sad tonight.
work was exhausting at the end, lin baby came ^^
thank you mark tan for coming down to support and for fixing the damn tap, clean the machine and fixing the cashier for me.
if you werent there, i'll prolly break down and cry like a puppycat.
i was barefooted, dirty, smelly, my hair was in a mess, my nice shoes became soggy and the ice-cream machine was being a damn bitch.
had a lot of blonde moments, am ashamed of myself. i have shamed my kind.
i dont know why but i feel so sad tonight.
maybe its my period but ever since the night of the spain match,i've been feeling really really down.
im so sad, i think i know why but i fucking need to wake up my idea.
i really dont know what the fuck is wrong with me.
now that life has settled into a routine, there's nothing that i look forward to anymore.
everything in my life, at this point, is routine now.
routine, routine, routine.
k im gg to my secret diary, bye sw.bs.com
im full of bullshit.
sat, i have to brace myself again.
dad's ashes, i think seeing his picture up there along with all the other dead people, i think thats gg to break me again.
i hate routine and i hate changes, what is wrong with me.
why am i never contented.
im terrified of everything, i want everything to be like the past and yet the past sucks.
i hope when nick comes back from the army later on tonight, we'll have a good weekend and not spend it fighting/making up
i hate all these fucking petty quarrels. i hate the fucking army because i feel that the boy i knew who went in isnt the same who came out weeks ago and every fucking week, i notice something different. something that makes me want to shake him and say, you are not like that last time but the bitch in me always says it in a fucking guai lan way and i get all pissy hissy i just UGH i just fucking want to fuck the army fuck you all fuck you all.what is wrong with me.
i want to go back to when i was sixteen on seventeen.