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Thursday, August 12, 2010


guess i should blog now while i still can.
first of all, today, 13th august 2010, was and still is a very important milestone in my life.
i have signed my freedom, my teenage years, my 9-10-11? months of bumming around for a 3 years contract with Tiger Airways. I have no idea what i am doing with my life and trust me, flying was never an option in my career list. but i am thankful and most importantly grateful for the opportunity and i decided after much thought, that i will embrace this new change(i h8 changes) and well, suck it up! wana thank my bestie for everything, especially with all her encouragement and love. i love you. =)

so its a 3 year contract but technically im bonded for 1 year so hmm we will see how it goes.
right now, i just want to cry cause my training is hell.
if you know me personally, i sleep in the A.M. and wake up around 1-2 pm everyday
life of a bummer, ha ha ha.
i am so fucking used to his and i love SOFT (btw im fucking fucking upset to leave the cafe, i seriously feel low) cause the working hours are 4-10pm. perfect for a lazy ass like me.
im not sure if i can speak of it cause of the whole contract thing but its just fucking mad and im so worried i am so worried so so worried that i will not be able to take it
im so weak. mentally and physically.
nick wont be there to help me along, i will be all alone
and even though i have somewhat gained back my independence since he went into the army, i am not ready, for the adult world.

everything will be strange and foreign
i hate making new friends and now i have to plus i have to wear formal for the 1st time in 20 years.
i was 'shopping' for formal wear today with mum and godpa and gawd formal wear is like cosplay to me. it is fucking ugly, expensive and i want to cry because the only one i liked was from raoul and thats 699 for a dress. which i obviously dont have and wont spend.

the hours are mad, the hours are mad
8-6pm EVERYDAY and three/four diff places they change everytime
and one of the venue for my training is at freaking TP and i have to wear formal and i have no friends because everyone is on holiday but tts a good thing too, i dont want to go to tp wearing formal what a joke, imma joke a big huge joke. i feel so upset.

did i tell you i have to work on weekends too, sometimes?
my army boy, my soldier..
plus, our anniversary.. is the first day i fly. if im nt wrong.
so there goes 1-2 weeks of not seeing him at all.

but everyone around me has been really really really encouraging
my mum was super nice to buy me a blazer from topshop and some 'formal wear' because she didnt want me to get cold during the lectures and i said why buy for me mummy and she said cause i was gg to fly away from her soon and i wanted to cry when she said that.

i hope i never ever change, that i will stay grounded to the brat that i am, spoilt, whiney, immature douchebag.. and not some lao aunty who thinks she's better than anyone else. please slap me across my face if i ever do change.

i feel so sad now.
its already thursday, if you wana count it like that.. since its 2.03 am on a wednesday.
my last day at soft tmr, please come find me if you want your yummy icecream for the last time.
my last weekend of freedom.
phuture with baby,Z , bestie gab and the boys on fri, wave house sentosa (FOR THE FRIGGING FIRST TIME OMG SO EXCITING BUT SIGH I GOT THE CURSE) on sat, dinz @ dempsey (NICK I TREAT YOU) and sunday hehehehe click 5 concert with my best friend hehehehehe.

and all the pretty clothes and shoes from uo that i bought
all no use already
i can throw away everything.
2 months i am going to be stuck in ugly pants, long sleeves, blazers.

maybe we'll go too far,we just dont care

abt me.

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