these days, i walk or rather drag my feet along and do the usual of the usual routine.my heart is sick and heavy, i am tired of the decisions i am forced to make, and memories that replay.
over-used words no longer hold the same meaning because fresh ones cannot come out.
everything is regurgitation. i am unoriginal but my heart is full of care and despair.
today was another somber day for the organ in my chest but i had to get my act together.
first day of work was simple and we ended early so im here with my formal clothes all strewn on the floor, just typing this and occasionally, staring at my phone and the weather.
both dont seem to like me very much, they are silent and gloomy.
i feel silent and gloomy too.
what to look forward to this week?
i was supposed to bring the korean girls go clubbing on wed @ phuture but i guess thats off since there's an impromptu retaking of exam (which im still fucking mad pissed at but cannot do anything about it also. i refuse to study, but i know if i dont, i will prolly wont get the same grades as before.) on thurs early morning.
so that leaves crystal jade din on wednesday which im pretty excited for! best and i have been talking about it, thanks for making reservations. =)
i hope we get to head to dempsey for some drinks after if time permits.. i think im slowly turning into an alcoholic. its not healthy but silly as it sounds, it keeps my heart from doing that funny peculiar squeeze of dread. drinking makes you forget!
oh and it makes you really fat too.
im still suffering from the accidental-walking-into-a-glass-door-i-never-knew-existed or-ba-ka on my forehead but last friday night was good. i loved the rain that night for some reason and my new trenchcoat makes it all the better for the weather that day.
after my stint with Tiger, i really want to settle down and do something i love, like fashion and journalism. do you think its silly to start at 21? i wonder if im too old, after all, i really wana get married by 24 and adopt a kid by say 30? (IM NOT JOKING) i want to travel and play and earn money and live by the beach on weekdays and party in the city on weekends. hahaha my head is such a creative and dramatic place to live in!
before all that can happen, i guess i really need to figure out what i want to do with my life and my heart. to gain something, you got to lose something and what is change? its something everyone needs but hates for, to happen. if i could, i would want to take the selfish way out. keep everything and yet, get ... oh nvm. alright 540pm i shall do a kittykat and nap.
did i mention, the weather's so gloomy?
it makes me want to smile for some reason.
it's funny how everyone can look at the rain and gather the same thoughts.
oh and haha fact of the day, when it rains, EVERYONE TWEETS ABOUT IT.
lol, something about the weather, makes people wana grab their phones and talk about it.
goodnight!
