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Sunday, October 17, 2010

halp im dying

these days, i have been shuttling to and fro to two separate/double? lives.
my weekends with nick and my weekdays at work.
from nick's place back to my place back to his
i feel too adult, too tired, i literally cannot feel my legs anymore
work exhausts me, life exhausts me
i dont think im cut out for this at all.
i hate the fact that i always choose the wrong path, make the wrong decisions and forever live to regret it, i guess i never ever do stop and think.
right now, im experiencing a quarter life crisis what with this job taking a serious toll on both my physical and mental health.
and i do mean that in every sense, strongly.
im this close to a breakdown and i wish a better opportunity will come and drop down on me because i dont think i can do this anymore.
i detest myself for doing things halfway, but i really need to work out this mental struggle every gawd damn day.

i fucking love the weekends. i crave thirst and relish it.
i fucking love nicky.
we are hitting 2 years this month.
no surprises that neither of us can celebrate it on the actual day.
2 years.
this is my longest relationship so far.
we have a lot of bumps and cracks and until lately, everything was kind of happy and wonky at the same time.
but this month or so, especially after he pop, things have gotten vastly better and we have reverted back to a silly puppy love kind of mushy feeling which i really like.
also, long time no go ladies night so we went! with my 2 fav girls to land of bengzandlianz, we visited a certain Saint named James(IM SO LAME HAHA) had a blast
went to Timbre, discovered a super good band called GoodFellas (support local mewzik?) but they did all covers, and yst we celebrated lin's bday at sushi tei then rebel which was pretty awesome. also i got myself JC shoes at a fucking good steal of 103 bucks only and fuck, the shipping from the states took only 5 days. karmaloop is a fucking good website.
spent too much money on shopping, cabbed to the airport to work every fucking day to and fucking fro, no money already.
oh and i got to be up at 430 am later for a morning flight to hk.

maybe we'll go too far,we just dont care

abt me.

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