Thursday, December 02, 2010
feeling Lousy LOUSY l0usy
had the most striking vivid dream where i had a car accident at ECP
and there was fire and the doctor had to stop my heart(and i could literally feel the shock of the machine stopping my heart in my dream) and he removed all my organs from my stomach and also showed me an x-ray whereby my liver was slightly muddy and misty in areas
and i saw my first ex boy friend Vincent after i had the operation and we were just sitting around at a table with a bunch of i cannot remember who shss people and i felt sad because no one cared about my missing organs because the doctor had yet to put it back.
what a fucking sick dream and i can still remember so clearly how the vehicle i was in spun so crazily and i was swirling and twirling and i did not even put up a struggle.
i think i secretly want to die and leave this place for good.
even in my dreams, i feel like i am better off dead.
maybe we'll go too far,we just dont care