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Tuesday, January 04, 2011

2010- 2011 thoughts

The last of 2010
+ some blast from the past

-Christmas 2010
went to town to do my nails on the 24th
thank you baby for accompanying me for a good almost 2 hours!

Christmas Eve dinner at
had a blast + a mini heart attack from seeing the prices on the menu
checkout nicky's expression hehe qtpie

presents for nick from me

-Countdown at Clarke Quay before moving over to St James
where the coolest set of parents in the world(zer's ones btw haha) opened a ginormous 'da pao' bottle of martell (which cost 1 k btw daaa fuck) and even though there were more than 15 people?? one could finish it haha

-Christmas Service at Church with Ben and nick
thank you for saving us the best seats, benben and for your beautiful card. =)

Christmas gathering at nick's aunty's place
left him to meet the rest at Chijmes

-Christmas Din at Carnivore with my Fav friends
Thank you Zer for the two best christmas presents ever
for really putting thought and effort and for remembering what i liked.

i was really really touched

Lin darling came and we went over to Double O because everyone couldnt decide where to go
it 's seriously one hell of a sick club
mewzik's okay but the people are terrible.

haha okay im tired of typing and i cannot remember the sequence of events already
so here are all the pictures from the Last of December 2010 and some from way ago.

my 2010 was a bad one but i pulled through with the help of my best friends and my boyfriend and that, i am eternally grateful for.
For all the loss i have suffered this year, I still have lots to let go and my heart still twinges funnily when i think back of all the could have beens. I have lost my dad physically but that does not mean he is not in a better place than where we all are. And for that, I thank God for the ending of his suffering for so many long months and all that stress on my mother, both physical, financial and mental. I am at a point where i have decided that taking things a day at a time is best fit for a person like me and therefore, with all the new circumstances that have arrived, i pray that God would give me a solution and show me a way out of this rut that im stuck in. I have a lung test on jan 5th and thats 2 days from now or 1 if you want to be anal since its already 1 am on a jan 3rd night. i am not worried for this is merely just a test.
i am worried for the outcome, for the stress that i have been getting and for the hope that i can be finally freed. i will have no money and im back to being a bummer but at least i will be healthier happier and also safer. Safer in the knowledge of not having to be scared everytime my phone rings.

ah but its 2011 now and i have no plans for this year except to think like a spoilt brat and throw the most awesome 21st birthday for myself and to go on a trip to Tokyo with my bestest friends and boyfriend, for that Australia road trip where we will backpack and drive around with top up and our hearts on fire. if only money wasnt an issue, if only we were not tied down by obligations. so many if onlys.

i am ending 2010 on the 3rd day of january 2011 on a hopefully, slightly more positive outlook.
i wont ask for 2011 to treat me well because i am honestly used to crap happening year after year and as melodramatic as it sounds (not that im trying hard for it to be) every year someone dies and im sick of all that heartache and hollow feeling. hollow sorrow what sad looking words can you see just how sad they look? all that emptiness.

108 am
i am off to bed
i hope whoever's reading this has a smashing good year ahead.
i hope mine turns out okay.
and please, no one die this time.

maybe we'll go too far,we just dont care

abt me.

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