this year was supposed to be fascinating with new adventures everyday
isnt every last ticking seconds of the old year supposed to give birth to new promises(and i mean kept ones) and..profound joy?
why cant people live up to their promises?
or is it just me
i am starting to think the problem is all me
i mean seriously if things keep going in the same 1 way direction..
learnt a new german word today in the confines of my dusty room
Weltschmerz : World Weariness
melodramatic or not, that aptly describes whatever i feel and have been feeling since a few years back and this is bullshit too im fucking 21 only ok fine 22 this year fuck thats old
i have been lying on the bed more almost 20 hours with a new book on berlin
fascinated with the cold war and the prisoners being entrapped in a country they cant escape
look at Singapore with its technicolor hues of freedom
freedom in the sense of being able to go and do whatever as and when you want to
so proud to be a Singaporean.
so yeah here i am at 7pm
basically wasting my days away and wondering what is in store for me
my days ahead seemed bleak and weary
beer and chix tonight are cancelled
so is foster the people this sat
with the amount of crap i had to put up with in the past few days, this is a major bummer for me
and since i dont have the guts to go to a concert alone
i guess im going to stay home on saturday and study for my paper on monday
whoop life is gay and dandy
fuck this sordid train of thought
all these nonsensical thinking comes from the sole justification of the fact that im basically not at peace with myself and if i cant even find it in me to exist solely and independently without relying on others' words to feel happy. then what more is there left for me in the future?
