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Tuesday, January 03, 2012

stay +ve

circa april 2011

i had a fantastic closure to 2011
and started the first day of 2012 celebrating my mum's bday and the entire day was fabulous.
really, i couldnt stop smiling the first day.

day 2 of 2012 was spent lazing around at nick's
ordering in pizza and watching the stupidest movie ever
please guys, for your sanity, dont even bother watching 'ESCAPEE' okay?
at first, i reckoned it would be kind of prison break since lincoln was acting in it but no, bad acting bad dialogue, bad script omg im ranting im sorry but THE MOVIE REALLY SUCKED.
sent nick back to camp after his 18 days of freedom

its day 3 and i was woken up today by a phone call.
tears and death.
it's only day 3 and here it is again, death at its door
cruel fingers beckoning us
where is the comfort and peace in mourning how can we bid our loved ones bye
when they are already gone even before their time is up
the body is a shell.

leave all your love and your longing behind you cant carry it with you if you want to survive

i also read this quote while reading a book i borrowed from the library that day
and i weeped like hell the whole book kills your tear glands i swear
and it also fucked with my heart pretty badly

"It is an awkward thing for a loved one to retain their breath but lose their faculties.I feel as though my heart has been cheated,as I have lost a friend and am not allowed to grieve his passing."-The Letter, Richard Paul Evans

also, something happened on thursday morning, 29th december 2011
i will never forget
and maybe in due time, i will never forgive myself
this is the second time this has happened.
i read somewhere on fb how sometimes you forgive people just because you are afraid of losing them even when they dont deserve forgiveness.

can i just tell myself everything was in yesteryear? all regrets should nt be brought forth to this year its a new year a new start a new life..
but then again how quickly am i supposed to forget when the 29th is not even a week from today.

i know im the kind of person who's quick to forgive, no matter how grievous the deed, but slow to forget. especially if it hurts.
what you did,twice killed me inside.
i forgive you. now let me try and forget.

there's school today
i just checked my results online
both grades- CREDIT
2 marks away from a distinction.
how ugly a credit looks beside a distinction
oh well, considering the effort i put in for school
its a miracle that i actually passed.
6 more months and i am finally free from fucking SIM.
better buck up sher

maybe we'll go too far,we just dont care

abt me.

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