Good times

S. I. R

2012-01-29T23:23:00.001+08:00

came across something about 5 mins ago

bam!

straight to the heart

lately this is all i've been up to

2012-01-29T22:49:00.000+08:00

but all that matters is here and now

2012-01-19T11:28:00.006+08:00

hello gaiz!

last night was pretty amazing

hung out at Fat Boys Katong with the best company

i dont think i will ever find friends like those from st hildas

seriously, if i could trade everything now and go back to those days

O LEVELS I ALSO TAKE AGAIN.

maybe thats why other than those from shss, i have no friends say serious haha

alot of other people i know, leave st hildas and start brand new

stripping themselves of their past, moving on..

being the stuck rat in the rut that i am, i cant seem to do that

other than a finger count of ngee ann poly friends and phy, i really dont seem to have made that much progress hahaha

look at me, in a 3 year relationship with my classmate in sec 1,2,3,4 hahaha that's so weird too weird too weird cannot think of it like that...

BUT I DIGRESS

so it was fat boys for dinner drinks and the best company ^^

bestie was a dear, sent us back and then ben came and picked me up in a cab and off to butter!

pretty fun night even though the boys went 'hunting' haha and i was their ultimate wing girl say serious no wing girl can call themselves wing girl until they see my wingirlring skills

met a friend & his friends, had macallan for the first time, died and went to whiskey heaven

no joke kiddos, if martell is great, macallan is out of this world.

also, the night before, i had dinner with justin and WOWOWOWOWOOWOWOW

the meat from the korean bbq was fantastic, so good succulent doesnt even cut it (DID U SEE WHAT I DID THERE)

beer at Sauce after and its only 9 bucks a pint check it out if you havent

the ambience is pretty amazing^^

ooh its late gotta rush out my project nao bai bai have a good one this week everyone!

ITS THURSDAY. a little more than 24 hours before i get nickytime for 10 whole days ho shit GET EXCITED#@!E@###

but all that matters is here and now

2012-01-19T11:28:00.003+08:00

hello gaiz!

last night was pretty amazing

hung out at Fat Boys Katong with the best company

i dont think i will ever find friends like those from st hildas

seriously, if i could trade everything now and go back to those days

O LEVELS I ALSO TAKE AGAIN.

maybe thats why other than those from shss, i have no friends say serious haha

alot of other people i know, leave st hildas and start brand new

stripping themselves of their past, moving on..

being the stuck rat in the rut that i am, i cant seem to do that

other than a finger count of ngee ann poly friends and phy, i really dont seem to have made that much progress hahaha

look at me, in a 3 year relationship with my classmate in sec 1,2,3,4 hahaha that's so weird too weird too weird cannot think of it like that...

BUT I DIGRESS

so it was fat boys for dinner drinks and the best company ^^

bestie was a dear, sent us back and then ben came and picked me up in a cab and off to butter!

pretty fun night even though the boys went 'hunting' haha and i was their ultimate wing girl say serious no wing girl can call themselves wing girl until they see my wingirlring skills

met a friend & his friends, had macallan for the first time, died and went to whiskey heaven

no joke kiddos, if martell is great, macallan is out of this world.

ooh its late gotta rush out my project nao bai bai have a good one this week everyone!

ITS THURSDAY. a little more than 24 hours before i get nickytime for 10 whole days ho shit GET EXCITED#@!E@###

but tonight, we are young

2012-01-14T20:52:00.004+08:00

got tagged a couple of days ago by roy on facebook

these photos were taken in 2010 or was it 2009

haha that was a really long time ago

good times though

back then there were more parties to go

seems like everyone just mellowed down already

AGE CATCHES UP.

THIS YEAR, MOST OF US TURN 22, MYSELF INCLUDED

THE HORROR.

These 5 words i swear to you

2012-01-11T21:49:00.002+08:00

awfully chocolate/joojoo @ Katong with best friend today

after that best brought me to a place in punggol

MIND BLOWN.

horseriding coming your way 2012 with sand better than bali beaches!

gorgeous place really, i cant cant cant w8 to go back next sat for a picnic with the girls

hope the rest of your week goes smoothly gaiz!

oh! the places you will go

2012-01-10T18:44:00.003+08:00

january was supposed to be amazing

this year was supposed to be fascinating with new adventures everyday

isnt every last ticking seconds of the old year supposed to give birth to new promises(and i mean kept ones) and..profound joy?

why cant people live up to their promises?

or is it just me

i am starting to think the problem is all me

i mean seriously if things keep going in the same 1 way direction..

learnt a new german word today in the confines of my dusty room

Weltschmerz : World Weariness

melodramatic or not, that aptly describes whatever i feel and have been feeling since a few years back and this is bullshit too im fucking 21 only ok fine 22 this year fuck thats old

i have been lying on the bed more almost 20 hours with a new book on berlin

fascinated with the cold war and the prisoners being entrapped in a country they cant escape

look at Singapore with its technicolor hues of freedom

freedom in the sense of being able to go and do whatever as and when you want to

so proud to be a Singaporean.

so yeah here i am at 7pm

basically wasting my days away and wondering what is in store for me

my days ahead seemed bleak and weary

beer and chix tonight are cancelled

so is foster the people this sat

with the amount of crap i had to put up with in the past few days, this is a major bummer for me

and since i dont have the guts to go to a concert alone

i guess im going to stay home on saturday and study for my paper on monday

whoop life is gay and dandy

fuck this sordid train of thought

all these nonsensical thinking comes from the sole justification of the fact that im basically not at peace with myself and if i cant even find it in me to exist solely and independently without relying on others' words to feel happy. then what more is there left for me in the future?

I am a fucking angry piece of shit this evening

mad with the world's unreliability

fucking disappointments

fade into darkness

2012-01-08T22:39:00.002+08:00

Sunday night

can literally feel my heart constrict from the disappointment

expectations will always be my greatest letdown in life

expectations from people expectations of kept promises

right now all i have is my music to accompany me and 4 new library books lying around

i am angry with the world tonight and more so, with myself

alone and incomplete

no more tears to cry no more blood to bleed

ill fall forever endlessly

when you should be the ground beneath my feet

the better half of me

i've given you and only you allowances for the past few years

and i dont know why but i always take you back

you offer me nothing but words

and im tired, im tired of words

words are letters stringed carelessly

whats the point of words?

feeling like fucking roadkill now

i wish i was in a better and happier place with myself

Tonight, tonight really blows

cant help cant stop

2012-01-06T19:05:00.004+08:00

you cant choose what stays and what fades away

tell me what you want me to say

pictures from bali

sun & moon

2012-01-05T16:34:00.004+08:00

im sorry baby

you were the sun and moon to me

ill never get over you

you'll never get over me

keep your cool

2012-01-04T00:30:00.004+08:00

feeling a little unsettled and majorly unhappy tonight

just got back from the wake

and my head's in the clouds

from now on, im just going to keep to myself

do what has to be done and not interact anymore

when shit hits the fan, you really get a true glimpse of everything

a few pictures from christmas eve and NYE

2011 was a really rocky year

am determined to rock 0'twelve

or at the very least, keep myself grounded.

here's and cheers to change.

i miss you.

stay +ve

2012-01-03T11:12:00.005+08:00

circa april 2011

i had a fantastic closure to 2011

and started the first day of 2012 celebrating my mum's bday and the entire day was fabulous.

really, i couldnt stop smiling the first day.

day 2 of 2012 was spent lazing around at nick's

ordering in pizza and watching the stupidest movie ever

please guys, for your sanity, dont even bother watching 'ESCAPEE' okay?

at first, i reckoned it would be kind of prison break since lincoln was acting in it but no, bad acting bad dialogue, bad script omg im ranting im sorry but THE MOVIE REALLY SUCKED.

sent nick back to camp after his 18 days of freedom

its day 3 and i was woken up today by a phone call.

tears and death.

it's only day 3 and here it is again, death at its door

cruel fingers beckoning us

where is the comfort and peace in mourning how can we bid our loved ones bye

when they are already gone even before their time is up

the body is a shell.

leave all your love and your longing behind you cant carry it with you if you want to survive

i also read this quote while reading a book i borrowed from the library that day

and i weeped like hell the whole book kills your tear glands i swear

and it also fucked with my heart pretty badly

"It is an awkward thing for a loved one to retain their breath but lose their faculties.I feel as though my heart has been cheated,as I have lost a friend and am not allowed to grieve his passing."-The Letter, Richard Paul Evans

also, something happened on thursday morning, 29th december 2011

i will never forget

and maybe in due time, i will never forgive myself

this is the second time this has happened.

i read somewhere on fb how sometimes you forgive people just because you are afraid of losing them even when they dont deserve forgiveness.

can i just tell myself everything was in yesteryear? all regrets should nt be brought forth to this year its a new year a new start a new life..

but then again how quickly am i supposed to forget when the 29th is not even a week from today.

i know im the kind of person who's quick to forgive, no matter how grievous the deed, but slow to forget. especially if it hurts.

what you did,twice killed me inside.

i forgive you. now let me try and forget.

there's school today

i just checked my results online

both grades- CREDIT

pathetic.

2 marks away from a distinction.

how ugly a credit looks beside a distinction

oh well, considering the effort i put in for school

its a miracle that i actually passed.

6 more months and i am finally free from fucking SIM.

better buck up sher

Last day last post of the year 2011

2011-12-31T12:51:00.001+08:00

hello.
It is the 31st of december, 2011
this year has been pretty shit.

that's all.
have a good one in 2012 kidz

last saturday

2011-12-13T15:33:00.003+08:00

was spent slumming it out at the river and basically having one of the best nights ever

So hapz S came and joined us and + she can click superbly with my friends heh

i love you. Im so glad we are finally tighter this year ^^

12 days to my favorite day of the year

2011-12-12T19:00:00.003+08:00

sick, bed-ridden with thick yucky mucus the colour of a rusty sunset

saw my first lunar eclipse on saturday it was beautiful

the moon was red

the moon was red!

been lying in bed for almost a good 24 hours

havent felt this sick in a long long time =(

on a happier note, bali on sunday

im so stoked omgomg the things i will do there..

ku de ta here i come I CANT WAIT

First monday of December

2011-12-12T19:00:00.002+08:00

sick, bed-ridden with thick yucky mucus the colour of a rusty sunset

saw my first lunar eclipse on saturday it was beautiful

the moon was red

the moon was red!

been lying in bed for almost a good 24 hours

havent felt this sick in a long long time =(

on a happier note, bali on sunday

im so stoked omgomg the things i will do there..

ku de ta here i come I CANT WAIT

december 8th 2011

2011-12-08T01:09:00.002+08:00

december 8th.

happy birthday twinny.

you could have been twenty-one today, along with the rest of us.

all of us have turned that age already, except bernie and of course most importantly.. you.

I miss you.

Lately, you have been straying into my thoughts and as much as i liked remembering the memories we had, i dont like how it further strengthens the point that i will never be able to hear or see you again.

A friend of mine just lost her close friend recently, to a drunken brawl

he was going to turn 21 in december like you too.

Thing is, i met him once before and we had a conversation.

Like you, he was thinking big and thinking far and it hurts to see how the people who prolly always dreamt the biggest, get shortchanged the most in life.

twenty-one, twinny.

i would have thrown the biggest party for you and you would never have suspected it haha i can imagine your giggles already aiyo.

feeling fucking emotional now. i bet your twin (your real one) misses you more than i can even try to imagine so i wont. but thats nt saying that i dont miss you just as much. i fucking miss you and i miss all that you could have been and i wonder if you didnt stray away from us, your girls. would things have happened the way they did.

maybe bad influence me would have dragged you out that day instead of going to school then maybe that fucking accident wont happen.

life is a shit series of accidents just waiting to happen and im so sorry you had to be caught up in one of it.

i have this throbbing feeling at the back of my throat now and all i really want to do is curl up and cry for all the people we have lost in our lives and all the fucking could-have-beens and whatifs

what if

losing you and my dad will be the worst things to happen to me in my life until worst misfortunes come along. losing contact with the both of you and not failing to BE THERE will be the two biggest regrets i will always carry in my heart and i cannot ask for anything more than your forgiveness i am so sorry please tell me you are happy up there that everything is lighter and clearer and better up there

happy 21st birthday twinny

till we meet again,

your 'twin'

gona take you for a ride on a big jet plane

2011-12-05T16:54:00.009+08:00

23rd november

will never forget that beautiful day and the crazy rain

plus first yoga lesson left us with a week of pain HAHA RHYME HAHA

lost my fav pair of circle shades, one of my best $10 flea finds ='(

fell off after this photo

that explains the stick and my "indignant" face because i was trying to scoop it out

i failed btw ='(

27th November, Sunday

one of my fav boys birthday

happy beeg 21st benben!

you are one of the rarest gems, the constant in my life

and i hope you will never ever feel you are less than anything that you are worth

but then again im sure william will help you out in that department keke

a few zouk photos

december 3rd

Muddy's 21st

happy birthday in advance my dear nel

you have been by far, the sweetest girl i've ever known in my life

and i love you for every bit that makes up you

Thank you for sticking by me throughout the years.

i love you the mostest. =')

have a good week ahead everyone!

The third weekend of November

2011-11-21T10:36:00.007+08:00

From catching up with old friends on friday's fred perry subculture night and hopping between zouk,velvet and winebar and feeling literally sick from the champagne to saturday's slumming out at the river el cheapo style and having the time of my life with my girls there bellowing out the ugliest words with lin's classic , "i was born with a microphone inside me ok" (something along that line) to members to watch my dearest zer swoon and stalk 2pm while the rest of us non-2pm fans just stood at the bar drinking to dancing for a full 15 mins at phuture before best and i decided ok too old for this already i think we are out of the dancing phase. BUT I LOVE TO DANCE. hahaha the weekend was fantastic. my friends are fantastic.

life has been so good to me and i would not trade it for anything else in this world.

today also marks my first stint at nike fashion show fitting and i got a first-hand glimpse into the life i want to lead. being a stylist is amazing, so clean and simple.

i cant wait for the show on the 1st of december, it's going to blow my mind.

Signed up for Yoga 8 lessons courtesy to groupon with bestie

and our first session is on wednesday so freaking stoked

November has been super.

I feel like change is upon all of us, me especially.

sleep is for the weak

2011-11-19T12:42:00.005+08:00

2nd picture where are my eyes

HOW COME HOSAN'S ONES BIGGER

good morn gaiz it's saturday

last night was pretty amazing

the new velvet lounge looks spectacular

not a big fan of local bands but it was somewhat an eye (in this case, ear) opener

hope everyone else had fun on their friday!

it's Zouk again tonight with all my favorite girls

enjoy the rest of your weekend!

last few laps of November

2011-11-18T17:50:00.003+08:00

Yesterday saw me through the completion of my last exam of the year (WOO HOO!) and gym time with my secret lover, zer (hahaha not so secret anymore) then happy singing time with her and bestie and simpang for supper with everyone, a maggot plus benben.

heading to fred perry's subculture event tonight with Nette and Hosan

i havent seen them since forever and i really really really miss my nettingale

THE WEEKEND'S LOOKING FINEE

im so happy!

Everything is finally falling into place and i feel a little more like my old self again. =')

November 15th

2011-11-15T22:55:00.003+08:00

a little update in my life.

starting to find myself again, gaining back my independence
exam's in a little more than 24 hours but i am #FOREVER DISTRACTED
today is an important date to me personally because im saying goodbye to an old habit that i've been trying to break for years (please dont take that too literally, yeah cause im mysterious like that)
i have kids.
as in tuition kids
they are really bratty, i dont think im going to be a good mother. i overdosed them on mentos and they just got up and did a hyperactive sugar high on me and just couldnt sit down. im never ever giving a single kid 5 mentos each again.
i doorbitched for a day for kinki bar and it was the easiest money i've ever made
after 5 years, i finally updated the music in my iphone. (Talk about drastic change)
and well let's just say, BEST DECISION OF THE YEAR EVER
best friend's got her own car, super chio red one and its funny how we end up at old haunts like simei and tampines even though her petrol is free hahaha old habits die hard
went to see my dad at mandai cuppa of days back since it was his birthday
saw a tablet for a newborn baby who was only 3 days old his name is asher and i hope the parents are doing okay. my heart really goes all out to them. Please pray for them if you guys are reading this.
i cant believe im back to blogging. so much for swearing it off.
amused at how my fingers still fly across this keyboard (btw not mac anymore, iSad) it's like i never left
back to point 3, i wrote 3-4 long pages in my secret diary today and it's heartbreaking, i hope 30 year old me will look back and it and cringe not for the content but the handwriting only..
alright baibai im off to bed umm i mean study. yeah study is good. getting my degree in june 2012
speaking of 2012, DASHBOARD CONFESSIONAL IS COMING. im so excited imma jizz in my pants and your pants and her pants and his pants and ARGHHHHHH SO EXCITEDSSSDDFE DASHBOARD HERE I CUM

November 15th

2011-11-15T22:55:00.002+08:00

a little update in my life.

starting to find myself again, gaining back my independence
exam's in a little more than 24 hours but i am #FOREVER DISTRACTED
today is an important date to me personally because im saying goodbye to an old habit that i've been trying to break for years (please dont take that too literally, yeah cause im mysterious like that)
i have kids.
as in tuition kids
they are really bratty, i dont think im going to be a good mother. i overdosed them on mentos and they just got up and did a hyperactive sugar high on me and just couldnt sit down. im never giving a single kid 5 mentos each ever again.
i doorbitched for a day for kinki bar and it was the easiest money i've ever made
after 5 years, i finally updated the music in my iphone. (Talk about drastic change)
and well let's just say, BEST DECISION OF THE YEAR EVER
best friend's got her own car, super chio red one and its funny how we end up at old haunts like simei and tampines even though her petrol is free hahaha old habits die hard
went to see my dad at mandai cuppa of days back since it was his birthday
saw a tablet for a baby who was only 3 days ago. his name is asher and i hope the parents are doing okay. my heart really goes all out to them. Please pray for them if you guys are reading this.
i cant believe im back to blogging. so much for swearing it off.
amused at how my fingers still fly across this keyboard (btw not mac anymore, iSad) it's like i never left
back to point 3, i wrote 3-4 long pages in my secret diary today and it's heartbreaking, i hope 30 year old me will look back and it and cringe not for the content but the handwriting only..
alright baibai im off to bed umm i mean study. yeah study is good. getting my degree in june 2012
speaking of 2012, DASHBOARD CONFESSIONAL IS COMING. im so excited imma jizz in my pants and your pants and her pants and his pants and ARGHHHHHH SO EXCITEDSSSDDFE DASHBOARD HERE I CUM

N3N4

2011-11-06T23:03:00.000+08:00

you know i am proud of you but i wish i was part of your plan too.

hello november

2011-11-05T12:26:00.001+08:00

hi, im back.

2011-08-25T02:21:00.001+08:00

every fucking year

myriad of mess of emotions, messing with my heart

2011-07-31T23:22:00.004+08:00

an inappropriate happy-ish photo which has nothing to do with last crappy sad post of the year below. RIP crown of glory. it doesnt look all that great but at least its better than the black hair dye and terrible perm job that Snip avenue has left me with. i can't even..

------------------------------------------------------------------

once again, i have managed to single-handedly fuck every defense i've put up for the past hundreds of days.

will never forget that look in your eyes

last night, i walked into broken glass in Zouk while dash berlin worked his magic in the background

the roaring crowd and 2 minutes?before that happened, i remember how i felt, that eternity of silence and that quiet..where i was concentrated on trying to find the appropriate things to say and how i was never more unaware of my surroundings than in that moment itself.

i also got my foot rolled over by a car.

i was utterly disarmed last night (no DB pun intended) and im done with this risk-taking, this unhealthy stupid self-exposure and all for what? everything works out to be nothing in the end.

goodnight everyone, im done with this space forever.

happy

2011-07-25T20:31:00.001+08:00

33 months, dear boy

O let me be empty weightless

2011-07-23T13:49:00.002+08:00

this week has been pretty good to me albeit money issues which i dont even want to go there..

other than that, i had my FTT on thursday and it was a huge miracle that i actually passed..

considering i only opened the book to read the whole thing 4 hours before the test so that felt really good. nick had his off day on the same day too, another PTL moment. got my blackberry fixed and that was a whooping $200 bucks. ='(

met up with his friends after and i did boys stuff with them

and i got to say i seriously suck at games like pool and L4D2 and whatever manly things like that

i literally had motion sickness 10 minutes into L4D2 and i went to the gross unisex toilet to puke hahaha

went to some thai disco with them and i had my eye on some hot hot hot thai girl

after which, two of the boys drinkdrive to another thai disco which was sleazy imo but the guitarist was AMAZING on his hello kitty guitar

yea, thursday was really pretty fantastic =')

friday saw me being lazy, skipping work and getting flak from best friend and gabby tskkkkk

one by one ganging up on me!

spent the day with nick just lazing around and finding food and he brought me to this amazing changi place. changi beach club? that place is so pretty.

went back to camp on friday night and i went to Georges to meet bestie and lin

maybe cause we were in shorts and everything but we got checked by the staff there which was a serious WHAZZAT moment since uh we are 21 and since uh we've been coming georges for a long time already. hell you can almost count us as regulars.. we've been going for 3 years?

some management switch apparently and yst i realized Georges has service charge now. something WHICH SHLD NOT BE HAPPENING NUUUUU

we had a few beers and then lin drove us down to simpang and honestly it was a really simple girls night out but i had a blast and i hope the girls did too.

a brief stroll down memory lane because lin asked to know the whole 'story' of how it began and relating it to her made me realized how there are certain things you just cant forget. i mean i didnt know i remembered THAT MUCH. i guess keeping it stagnant in your mind and actually talking about it sparked some intense memory trigger shit because i woke up this saturday morning with a really vivid dream and i am not liking it one bit.

so innyhoo its saturday and im supposed to be at sentosa with pris but ah hem someone is still sleeping. #FOREVERALONE

going to find some food now haha have a wonderful saturday kidz

.

2011-07-19T22:04:00.002+08:00

so many words i would like to form sentences in proper structures to let you know to express how i felt about things the way they are and maybe hoping an inkling a part some bit would be reciprocated that favor that pity that love that surge of affection how you make me feel is what i feel real it is all too long and windy dont wait dont wait so lay your armour down my defence what defence everything i am i have always stripped myself bare of pride for you because you are you and i guess that's all i got to say to swallow back those words i'd never meant to say always always want what you can't have freedom

i look for you in this sea of faces

2011-07-18T23:52:00.003+08:00

Monday, 18th July 2011

1 step forward and two steps back.

Everything that i feel is in that song.

I miss you,and you, and you.

I hope that when i die, the people who loved me will play this song and think of me.

cant stop crying.

this is getting ridiculous, goodnight everyone.

In the arms of an angel

2011-07-15T16:46:00.002+08:00

Phuket,Thailand (June 26th-1st July 2011)

some photos from ben's camera but mostly from pris's.

mine can be viewed here-

https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150225544275855.319322.614395854

The day after the boys went back to singapore

my favorite photo

Taken at some island with the cutest cats in the world

found these kitties at some ulu place

#IWANTTOBRINGHOME

Taken at the island where you had to pay $6 (SING,MIND YOU) for beach chairs

and here i teach you the art of deception,

if you want to look a thousand times skinnier, do remember to place one leg in front of the other for a slimming and vastly deceptive effect.

also, we discovered this particular function on pris's camera which were designed to make you look purely awesome (since we were nt wearing makeup that day)

for eg: (taken with awesome mode)

(not trying to say i look awesome,btw. JUST THAT THE FUNCTION REALLY FUCKIN AWESOME OK I SAY AWESOME MEANS AWESOME)

and , taken with normal mode

best friend looks great, its ok you can focus on my y_so_sleepy? face (just trying to show u how awesome the function is okay?) and also, my tumz fats which i either forgot to suck in for the photo or failed miserably hehe

also, under awesome mode (haha sick of me saying that word right heh)

taken on the same day, and also the day i got stung by a fucking sea urchin which brought and is still continually bringing me misery till today ='(

Taken on the day we got ourselves matching hello kitty hennas on our wrist plus individual ones

my best friend looking fine~

you like my handwriting?

i wanted the word 'float' but i couldnt seem to pen it down properly so i wrote 'forever' instead

dont ask me why hahaha i dont even believe in that word

i guess all that beer got to my head.

Taken on day 1 where we finally left NOVOTEL to embark on a super long tuktuk ride to Chatuchak (yes something like the bkk one and on a relatively smaller scale)

taken on the day where we had exorbitantly expensive seafood and a lobster which cost us $40 sing and each of us had a tiny tiny bite (okay lah, 2 tiny bites)

Taken on the day we went for breakfast then parasailing plus frolicking on the beach

taken on the day where we were eye-raped

(im also pretty sure thats how entry to heaven will look like.)

taken on the day we tried to repeat parasailing day

novotel's 1/3 swimming pool

Taken at nicky's handlebar hehe

ok i lazy categorize already here are the remaining ones haha

doogie came to pose for a shot hehe

anyway its friday and im feeling really happy now

nick just came over to surprise me with medicine bubble tea waffles and soup plus my asos package

all the way from kranji! poor boy's on his way back to camp now.

am really really touched =')

TGIFTMR

2011-07-07T21:00:00.002+08:00

right now i miss my boyfriend so much

been spending so little time with him

i barely see him 4 full days a month since june and it's not going to stop till this ridiculous ndp shit is over.

i seriously miss you nickyboy.

i love you.

also, today was first day of 8-5

thank God for best friends.

survival tip 101: have great company alongside you and you can do just about anything.

9pm and im already knackered.

goo nigh

phuket in 5 pics

2011-07-02T18:13:00.000+08:00

Phuket day 1!

2011-06-27T02:19:00.002+08:00

Things we did today. Beer chatuchak Shopping more beer exotic pets 300 baht poopies room service election day camping at 7-11 till midnight

32

2011-06-25T19:33:00.003+08:00

happy anniversary my dear boy.

more from 19th

2011-06-23T00:05:00.005+08:00

NCHUJOY

2011-06-23T00:02:00.001+08:00

torally stalking him but seeing this made my heart melt.

he's coming out tomorrow!

SUPER DUPER EXCITED.

3 days to phuket baby~

=)

2011-06-22T14:46:00.001+08:00

by far, the sweetest thing nick has ever said.

^^^^^^

somewhere only we know

2011-06-21T14:26:00.006+08:00

my weekend.

happy times and holidays!

2011-06-18T00:21:00.007+08:00

O hai everyone!

tmr, june 18th, pris and i will be having a stall at SWAP AND SHOP flea

at chinatown! its from 11am -630pm and i promise loads and loads of topshop brand new h&m and asos stuff okay! COME FUND US FOR OUR PHUKET TRIP!

Today, june 17th

was a fantastic day

got up bright and early to have brekkie with wifey at bedok inter macs

good catch up and seriously, her work is sucking her social life dry

and i mean bone dry.

sept will come soon kay phyphy! <3

mega long bus ride to best's new house at upper east coast

FUCKING AMAZING PAD

i could lie on her window seat forever

i plan to live there semi-permanently

vian came over

swam, played with elsie, had delicious heady red wine

spilled the delicious red wine into the pool

took hundreds of photos

sun was blazing

my butt is sunburnt and so is my face and miso sleepy now

partial din din at bedok point with the girls and then i took the 22 mrt train ride to find nicky at CCK for his nights out for a few hours

poor kitty looked so sad and kept telling me he wanted to go home

i felt so bad for him

split a litre of beer with him and it was nice sitting there chatting and teasing each other

these are good times and i would not trade these moments for anything else.

2 mrt stops and a 50 minute bus ride later, i finally plonked my ass home

and i am exhausted i tell you

but today was so pretty perfect and fulfilling

i wished everyday was like that. =)

pictures from last wednesday!

caught up with Sean after a really really long time

2007? haha thats really long since we last hung out

it's nice to know that some people dont change who they are deep down, no matter the years or habits..

and Sean's still the same o' nice guy even though he's mr member of zouk now hahaha

gentleman as usual, paying for my meal and starbucks

even though i insisted on paying for them myself.

i honestly really hope that the girl he has his eye on will treasure him.

he deserves nothing but the very best of luck and love in the matters of the heart department.

left for home and then gabby came and picked me up and the guys and i had an awesome dinner at the Fat cat and i ordered the same dish again because i am not adventurous or whatsoever when it comes to my food. yeah, i take my nomz pretty seriously.

saturday was spent waiting for nick to book out

had dinner at WANCHAI and i really felt like going back to hongkong haha those were good times

headed to Zouk after

good times!

okay pics nt in order miso tired goo nigh

happy times carefree times with my mates

2011-06-16T12:42:00.003+08:00

O last night at zouk was such fun fun fun!

went out on a girls night out with my two best friends and the three of us had a bottle of apple barcardi to ourselves.

drank every last drop neat

and now there's terrible construction going on at the back of my head.

MAKE IT STOP!

mewww

2011-06-15T14:02:00.003+08:00

stupid stupid stupid girl, one peek and bam! that was all it took to wipe my defense mechanism away.

now i have to build it up brick by brick again.

STUPID STUPID STUPID GIRL.

In life we want what we can't have, want what we had and forget to love what we got.

2011-06-15T13:36:00.001+08:00

i repeat,

In life we want what we can't have, want what we had and forget to love what we got.

And then you came along and changed everything

2011-06-14T19:17:00.003+08:00

Things i did recently

went to MDIS alone to collect my advanced diploma, due 1 and a half years ago but lazy bones took over so i finally got up and did it
and took a $7.20 cab down from there to SIM to apply for RMIT bachelor in communications (if i do get in, i will enlist(haha) in September and then get my degree by june '12 (which is super mega fast) Does anyone know anyone who's going there? please tell me on my fs! i am actually worried about having to study again after not using my brain for so long, i dont think im capable of memorising and mugging again oh nuu.
Getting this degree would set my mum back $13 400++ , a sum which no one in the family has.
Therefore, i hope the bank robbery will go as planned. smoothly without any glitch
got really really mad with the army for robbing away nick's weekends
He is doing ndp and therefore can only come out every saturday after 11plus PM (yes pm) and back in to camp on sunday for yet another week of drudgery. no off day on monday. and did i mention his extra duty this sunday? so he's basically fucked and cant come out at all. did i also mention that he got ZERO block leave when he came back from germany? he actually booked in the next morning at 8 am after he got back to Singapore around 4 in the evening. yeah, go on ahead and exclaim, what the fuck.
sigh.
am also attempting to try and lose weight, i am the heaviest i've ever been and im really sad over that. can i be outrageous and go for 5kg before phuket? but my trip is in less than 2 weeks so i guess im going there fat as usual
negativity aside, i am really looking forward to whatever may come my way.
june will be a busy month with a flea market in chinatown this sat, june 18th, pris's 21st on sunday..phuket till july. my final theory test, then practical lessons.. plus hopefully the phonecall from SIM in august. (what a long-winded sentence!)
i wonder how the next last half of the year will be like. these days, i spend my time wistfully staring at pictures on tumblr, wishing i was anywhere but here.

something i ripped off tumblr

2011-06-11T13:15:00.002+08:00

i can relate to this in so many levels.

2011-06-10T22:53:00.003+08:00

no words can describe the amount of animosity distrust frustration anger and despair i have for fucking sungei gedong armour camp.

fuck you, understand?

sometimes it lasts in love and sometimes, it hurts instead

2011-06-07T15:47:00.009+08:00

may 11th/may 12th?

June 3rd 2011

June 4th

1 year

2011-06-02T22:33:00.002+08:00

in approximately a few hours or so, it will be june 3rd and that would mark one year since your death and one year later, i am thankful grateful and perhaps very much in denial of the feelings my heart and mind has managed to suppress for me.

i read somewhere on tumblr that 'forgetfulness is a form of freedom' and i cannot agree more.

and also, somewhere (again on tumblr) , 'my memory is my worst enemy' and hell yea am i able to relate to both sayings.

this one year has taught me nothing except thankfulness and despite everything that i've gained and lost, held on and let go of, i feel that i am still beyond blessed.

I am still not going to church and people may judge and point fingers say whatever you like but i know deep down that i still believe in God and no matter how wrong i know it is, i do not want to go back to church every sunday and let my emotions take over me again.

1-2 years ago, something major happened to me and i had a breakdown of some sort and i've told only 4 people which lead me to realize after that incident, i could never turn on or try and remember again which is good because losing your memory and 'losing' these emotions be it good or bad, will turn out to be a good defensive protective measure for me in the long run.

I know i err and fall short in many ways but i know that despite the bad decisions i make or the wrong habits i take up, deep down somewhere, there's still the same person that i used to be.

And this is what hurts, knowing that certain old friends cannot accept that or may have think i've changed. And just like that, we slowly let each other go.

because of habits? circumstances?

It's funny how everyone says time heals all wounds and im pretty sure that's not the case for certain gaping ones or worse still, wounds still freshly opened but not felt. (yet?)

i havent gotten round to feeling the true depth of the pain im supposed to feel or is it because i've turned into someone so cold and self-centered i cant possibly feel anything?

im worried, and yet i feel safe.

I remember on this exact day, june 2nd a year ago.

nick and i were having the best time of our lives at USS and i felt so happy, like a kid again, feeling genuine happiness after a long long time and staying over at his place when the sudden phonecall came, in the wee hours of the morning and all i remember was feeling groggy and confused when nick passed the phone to me and said, im so sorry baby and then i heard my mum's wailing on the phone and i instantly went blank and everything was stumble stumble try not to stumble, do it in order. do everything in order.

then the wake.. the funeral, june 7th.

which was also coincidentally nick's enlistment into the army and i couldnt send him off because i had to send my dad off (ironic much? ha) and i remember feeling torn and lonely and my best friend was there to make sure i did everything okay and i remember feeling the reliance and surge of love and gratefulness when i saw her approaching me and when i hugged her.

june was an intense month for me.

it's been 1 whole year since your passing, daddy.

I hope you are up there, safe and watching over us.

I hope i will never forget everything that i can remember of you.

/

2011-05-30T01:32:00.002+08:00

to be honest, everything was clearer brighter and more innocent in the past.

We were happier then.

these 3 weeks have taught me to stand on my own two feet and i think im ready to be on my own again. it feels like i've gotten back my independence and yet im lonely because in the past, and if i want to be brutally frank, i used to have more friends then. more of a social life and more.. myself.

i feel sad for all i have lost, some forever..

this is so tiring, everything is so trying.

we grow up, lose ourselves in the process..

forgetfulness is a form of freedom.

i have the worst memory in the world and pictures, old blog entries are what helps me remember. and tonight, going through them sparked a sense of regret in me.

for all i have loved and lost, plus that part of me that i lost too

along the way..

everyday, i die a little inside.

im no longer sherlyn wong in 2007

im a ghost of my old self.

What happened?

*

2011-05-26T22:10:00.000+08:00

stbgfif

always propelling between past and present and future

i cant help thinking that we could have had it all

2011-05-25T23:01:00.000+08:00

25th June 2011, this marks 31 months of both good sad rough and buttery smooth times with you.

happy anniversary nicky, i wish you were here beside me but its alright, in exactly 7 days, we will get to see each other again. i love you. hurry home to me.

Two days ago, monday, i had the bestest of time with my best friend at the beach

although i almost killed her when i collided into her while we were on bikes because i was being

distracted and stupid, trying to get the wind out of my ears so i shook my head like a dog and bam! knocked her right over. i feel terrible, her beautiful legs were tainted by me. #ideservetodie

weather was perfect though and it was a super day, walking around PP and getting bad influenced by her again, spent a bomb like how we spent 5 hrs at robinsons sale @ expo, while waiting for zer. ALSO spent a bomb.

i am really grateful for my two girls for being here while in my time of grievance and need hahaha just kidding im being melodramatic.

but seriously, thanks for always always being there, i really appreciate everything. =')

.

2011-05-19T12:26:00.002+08:00

yesterday was quite frankly, the worst day of 2011. (well, so far)

it got me thinking really hard about everything, about the person I am/have become and i wanted to know if i've changed.

Something is terribly wrong in certain departments and hearing certain stuff has made my heart cold.

I was never one to shrug things off but these latest.. discoveries are even harder to shake off.

Accusations, revelations, promises, i am tied up in this triangle of doubt uncertainty and rage.

cant do jackshit about it because im binded to a promise and if its a promise, then it's a promise i wont break.

im feeling pretty messed up right now.

im at the edge of my emotions watching the shadows burning in the dark

2011-05-16T20:54:00.003+08:00

+ feeling conflicted

+ singing sad songs to myself in the shop

+ flashbacks

+ holding back words because i have learnt from my past mistakes

+ refrain

+ i miss you

+ i miss us too.

my

2011-05-15T01:25:00.000+08:00

heart's a little heavy tonight.

*

2011-05-14T12:42:00.000+08:00

may 14th.

babyturns21

2011-05-10T16:19:00.002+08:00

Happy belated birthday to my favorite boy in the entire universe!

you are finally twenty-one now kitty!

i love you and i hope you had fun last weekend. =)

Friday was dinner with his family at his place after he booked out and we had yummy steak carrots broccoli cheesy spaghetti and red wine courtesy of his mum and renee's cooking nom nom

after work, i rushed home to buy baking ingredients to bake him cookies and it took so bloody long and martha stewart was not helping me at all ugh

rushed to tampines to get him a cake from bakerzin and the taxi queues everywhere were horrible and i had to ruin his own surprise by getting him to pick me up from tamp because everyone was getting impatient and wanted to start dinner and it was 845pm

felt super frustrated with all the rushing

taxis at tampines are rare and all damn picky since when taxi drivers can choose where to go one ughhhh

21 year old boy with his 97 year old granny^^

Saturday

up bright and early

brought him to Wild Honey for his birthday lunch

most expensive but seriously best brunch ever

one bite and instant transportation to food heaven sumpa swear chop me no lie.

as usual, queued for one plus hour like the other time since they dont do reservations.

stuffed to the maxi 0 max and then we headed down to clarke quay with him thinking that we

were about to embark on the duck tour along the river with a bunch of other couples hahaha

loved the look on his face when i walked to the swissotel counter to check in and he was like

'eh baby you're joking right' dont bluff...

went to the room which was pretty crappy as hell

tv spoilt, no toothbrushes provided

but oh well at least the bed was super mega comfy

but then again which hotel's not! haha

down to the swimming pool to try and swim but we turned out to be the only asians

and i kid you not when i say they immediately SIAMED to the far end of the pool when we went in or rather, most of them just got out of the pool.

lol fucking racism leh cb this is our country, you get out!

ordered a pint of beer which ripped us off 18 bucks crazy expensive even winebar's cheaper

+ it was honestly more of a mug and definitely not a pint

next time, i shall bring him to MBS instead. swissotel no good

but then again, location-wise, it was excellent since his army friends opened bottles at Zirca to celebrate for him, it was really really near and less than 3 minutes walk away.

Dinner was at a balinese restaurant which we decided to try because nick wanted to eat grilled food.

OMG DAMN SHIOK Seriously the fish chicken satay is amazinnggggg

huuuge portions and nick and i had to struggle to finish everything.

please go and try the seafood platter for two k

if you dont eat sotongs like us, the chef is nice enough to change it, in our case, a huge ass piece of yummy chicken for us kekeke.

btw, beer is 5++ from 6-11 pm

(BEATS SWISSOTEL ANYTIME)

so we stumbled back to the hotel to change and i was having serious trouble because i forgot to bring a strapless bra, nipple stickers and the entire central mall didnt sell any and i was going mad. bought a convertible dress the day before just for nick's bday and i was so annoyed with myself for forgetting.

in the end i stood 45 mins in front of the mirror trying to twist the dress in a style that could not show my stupid nipples (i dont even know why we shld have nipples for, so ugly) and thank God for the last minute i managed to find a way to twist the dress proper.

according to the pics in my camera, no nip-slip so phew, convertible dress level up.

so we left for zirca around 10 and we met up with his army friends + zer and gli ^^

zer got him a cake from Awfully Chocolate and it was nice to see the surprised loook on his face when we brought the cake out to him. hehe

Got to say im damn proud of nick for managing to stay somewhat pretty damn sober and for not puking at all after consuming drinks after drinks of martell champagne chivas beer and his friends started treating him one by one to 2 waterfalls 1 graveyard 1 jagger 1 lambo? and gawd knows what else.

proud as i am,

i would not trade my liver with his for anything though. hahaha

happy news aside, nick's leaving for germany courtesy (pui) of army in two days time..

last minute take away his block leave so i have only 1 lousy day to spend with him tmr before he leaves on thursday until 1st of june.

dont know how im gg to cope without him

will miss you like hell nick.

come what MAY

2011-05-02T22:42:00.003+08:00

May will see/has seen me both rejoicing and feeling absolutely miserable.

Nick finally got his blackberry! + i cajoled him into getting twitter

welcome him onboard please!

He is also leaving for Germany in approximately 10 days until the 31st of May.

i refuse to think about it for now.

Also, he's turning 21 in 3 days!

We went presents scouting in town during the weekends

cant w8 to get it for him. ^^

Phuket either at the end of may or the end of june with my best friend =)

Got the tickets for accommodation already now all we need are plane tickets wowza

btt test tomorrow, i havent read finish the book and its already 11pm

i am going to flunk it for sure.

alright off to pen down my thoughts in my read leather diary hehe goo nigh

.

2011-04-28T00:53:00.001+08:00

The situation at home is driving me crazy.

Long Live photobucket

2011-04-26T21:12:00.002+08:00

Circa 2007 2008

the last picture,

where the hell is it now?

going through memory lane tonight.

some entries on my locked livejournal left my heart feeling very upset.

2nd picture was when i had food poisoning and i had to be hospitalized

and the first picture was a reminder of a friendship from someone very important to me

who reminded me of details i have forgotten 3 years ago, just last friday night at zouk.

i hope you dont ever change.

Leave all of your love and your longing behind

2011-04-25T14:17:00.001+08:00

Finally, we are approaching the last week of April.

Birthday Parties have come and gone and im super duper stoked for bali/bkk plans in june with pris and zer.

Cash flow, as usual, is one hell of an issue..

staring at the picture i took of the three tops i bought from BKK in feb this year and the loots i got for nick

it's not healthy how i've only worn each top 1x,2x max and even unhealthier how i get bored of my clothes so easily. so if anyone is interested in any of the tops, feel free to quote me a price at thisismykix@gmail.com kay ^^

more photos from my birthday parties

12th

yes i know jiggly thighs so big so scary, courtesy of bad choices such as mickeyDs in the wee hours..

hehe really like this photo

I CAN GO IN I CAN GO IN

lin ^^^^^

view from the room when we turned off all the lights

the surprise hehe

16th

and on a sidenote, happy 30 monthsary to nickyboy!

You've have been the greatest.

Thank you for loving me.

May will be a pretty stressful month for me.

After finally signing up for driving, my btt test date is on may 3rd

and i just got my book yesterday. (thanks again matthew!)

I hope all will work out fine.

still cant decide between taking manual or auto though.

Come may 5th, it will be nick's 21st and the bugger refuses to have a party

and what with his lousy army timings, i dont know how to balance lunch with his family dinner with me and drinks with his friends on the same day without being it all too rushy rushy

plus its election day.. hmm.

may 13th will probably see me near tears when he leaves for Germany till the last day of May.

I hope the army brings him back safe and sound.

Then there's that issue of me getting a degree

since no one in the family has a steady income no one can be the guarantor

and 24K is fucking steep man

i really am at a loss of what to do because the only way out is to borrow from a bank and my mum has to mortgage the house so i can study and i dont want that to happen.

but i know very well that i will never go far with just an advanced diploma to my name.

I really dont know what to do.

my part time job at soft is barely helping me stay afloat since it has to cover my phone bill (fucking singtel really dont give chance) food expenses and now an extra burden of taking my license. i mean honestly i dont even know how the fuck i managed to survive with 200-300 bucks/month and still manage to shop ASOS occasionally and go clubbing on weekends.

im really very stressed out about money issues and aiyah, am sick of talking about it already.

i need a breakthrough in terms of monetary issues.

also, am very thankful for the free ka-ching from the govt

am patiently waiting for my acct to jump by 600 so i can get something decent for nick's birthday and throw him a good memorable birthday party.

my thoughts are all over the place suddenly haha

just recalled and i know i posted this repeatedly on twitter but nuuu i have to say it again

was at Zouk on sat with nick and his army friends when they suddenly found a wallet because the guy banged *on the dancefloor and the usual stare stare but what the dude didnt realize was that he dropped his wallet so * picked it up

and we went to examine it.

they were brutal man

started digging out the contents and found out the owner was a malaysian dude working in singapore and his work permit stated that he was born in 1986 so that made him only 4 years older than us. his posb balance left 100 bucks and he had this debit card and his signature was just the word TAN which is fucking funny if you think about it. Cash in his wallet? 2 ringgit in an angpaw and loads and loads of folded paper hearts

what a sentimental fella

everyone was laughing like hell and we were like return lah damn poor thing because of the whole money balance and 2 ringgit seriously the 2 ringgit and paper hearts plus his gf work in ntuc, really got to me okay

AND THEN SUDDENLY *PASSED ME THE WALLET

so i opened it and i found

1. a photo of his gf and him

2. a buddhist talisman which i immediately dropped

and

the epic clincher.

2 folded pieces of white paper which turned out to be a copy of the ultrasound taken of a baby.

(you know you watch tv, they always show this fuzzy thing moving on a black and white screen and some doc points to a moving thingamajig and says, hey thats your baby."? yeah. that one. except its a photo and its tangible and i am holding some guy's baby in my hands.

HOLY.

HO SHIT.

WHAT THE FUCK. i was fucking stunned and i just stared at it and i was momentarily speechless until i showed the guys and we just started shouting O SHIT OH MY GOD.

and then i really cracked up because oh jeezus it was too much for me to take

i really couldnt stop laughing

never in my life did i expect to find pictures of an ultrasound of a baby okay

i wanted to die, partly from laughing partly from the irony of it all and partly from the guilt because we were all ransacking this poor bastard's wallet

okay when we kind ofc stopped laughing,

* started stuffing everything back silently and it was really honestly the most epic scene ever because he was brutal with the paper hearts initially and then after seeing the ultrasound he just kept quiet and started stuffing everything back in ninja-speed and then we went back to the bouncer and returned the wallet and oh lord, i swear i will never forget that night.

also, the guys were talking about returning it and nicky made this brilliant retort which kind of went something along,

"WAIT. HOW COME HE GO CLUBBING AND LEAVE HIS PREGNANT GIRLFRIEND AT HOME"

which really made sense actually and we just went into fits and started going O YEAH HOR WA WA CANNOT. MUST PUNISH HIM.

but then haha the ultrasound, cb lah

we cant do this to a poor bugger i mean if you go around carrying only 2 ringgit in your wallet and pictures of an ultrasound, the baby has to be his right??

good news was when we were leaving the club, the bouncer came up to me and said the guy managed to get his wallet back and i felt really happy but still guilty. After all, we werent exactly nice nor did we have the kindest intentions at first.

really good time at the clubs though.

phuture was great and the music at zouk was super too

bumped into a cuppa of old friends there and really, last weekend was pretty perfect with friday at scape for a mini flea, barely earned much due to a rather bad location but thank you anyway zer gli cherie and fiona for letting me share with you guys at the last minute

next time we'll get the one downstairs kay!

spent friday and saturday night clubbing with my fav girls and boy and his friends

sat, accompanied nick while he fished

and sunday was errands time

lovely long weekend ^^

Faithful

2011-04-20T20:50:00.009+08:00

thank you zer darling for surprising me at 12 midnight with yummy cake and roses. =)

thank you bestie for KITTY and for revealing to me on skype

thank you nicky for setting your alarm and calling me 7 mins too early because army time is diff from civilian time and for singing happy birthday to me while i teared and your 21 mews and then suddenly zer was outside my door hehe

thank you bestie for coming down early to test-drive the car ^^

thank you wifey and benben for reaching on time and looking so rad in your shades ^^

thank you benben for the ben and jerry lunch treat

thank you God for being so faithful and for having mercy on us and giving us 1-2 hours of clear skies after it started raining.

Thank you God for friends who care for me so much and i hope they know i feel the same.

I initially typed out a long entry intended for this girl whom i used to think of as a friend

but since i am twenty-one, it's time to grow up and put this aside but just so you know,

the friendship is shot and dead to me.

good times

2011-04-19T22:58:00.006+08:00

some photos from the 12th @ mbs and then some photos i ripped off my friends' albums from the 16th @NSRCC

from the bottom of my heart,

2011-04-18T15:47:00.003+08:00

I just want to thank everyone who came down for my 21st birthday party.

it's finally over, =) Thank you guys for making the effort to come down all the way to nsrcc

especially my ngee ann friends since all of you stay super far except nette who's half an eastie haha and nel who's a full-fledged tampines kid keke

Every card, little note, wrapping paper,box and present is precious to me and i wont throw them away so thank you so so much for the gifts, guys. I am astounded by the love and effort and money that you guys are willing to spend on me. words are not enough.

Im sorry for being such a lousy host though, it was honestly fucking tough running about trying to talk to everyone and im sorry the party sucked cause it was so clique-y. Still, i hope you guys had a lovely time and thanks for staying to watch me cut my cake while i was intoxicated (shame shame)

I love all of you, thank you so much. =)

my 21st

2011-04-15T13:10:00.002+08:00

a few photos

ben and jerrys for free cone day

thank you ben ben for treating all of us to lunch, i really appreciate it =)

Thank you Zer for helping us score the suite

and for tricking me when we went into the lift and telling it was level 7

it was super funny, she passed me the key and said level 7 so we went inside the lift and i slot it in then she look at me and say what r u doing?

i was like, huh? i thought u say 7

then she gave me that cheeky grin and said no lah its 44

still confuuuuuuu, i was like 44?

then either she said something or someone said, suite and then phy started shrieking and everyone started screaming so we ran out of the lift and haha it was hilarious,

everyone going suite suite omg

and when we walked in, o golly it was HUUUGE

screaming never ceased and i kept making them hold my hand and run around the whole place with me.

best room ever. =)

the pool, amazing as usual, weather was real gloomz by the time we reached

begged God for just 1-2 hours and the drizzling stopped.

speaking of which, i didnt get my period

and for that i am so thankful

was bloody worried but everything turned out to be fine

PTL!

sherprise!

2011-04-15T00:37:00.001+08:00

Not sure if you guys can view this but..

yes i look and behaved like a complete twat but hehehe just look at all my friends.

so adorable and camera shy

cant stop grinning when i watch this.

LOVE YOU ALL.

O HAPPY DAY!

2011-04-14T16:31:00.003+08:00

i had the best birthday celebration of my life ever 2 days ago.

On 12th april 2011, i spent every second of all 24 hours awake and feeling so alive and happy.

i was grinning the entire time both inside out and i have so much to be thankful for so much to be grateful for.

thank you guys, words are insufficient and they will never be enough to express how i feel.

i am still riding on the high of two days ago. you are all so fucking incredible.

ill see you guys on saturday again and please know that, i really am so freaking enormously happy that i have you all in my life. you mean so much to me. =)

5 4 3 2 1

2011-04-11T18:45:00.009+08:00

rainy gloomz monday

did my nails and cut my hair at Tampines just now

was gifted with a hairband in the most perfect shade of brilliant red from my brother and dawn

and they also paid for a night at MBS tmr

really really blessed to have people around me who care enough to not mind splurging so much on me or at the very least, think im worth it.

i wish i was rich so i could reciprocate likewise, instead of wishing wanting and never doing.

innyhoo, 5 hours to turning twenty-one!

bunch of feelings actually

i miss nick very much and i wished he was able to spend the day tmr with me

yet on the other hand, im so excited for day out with my closest friends

weather's making me feel slightly down and the impending doom of my period is making me nervous like a rabbit on crack.

not to be gross or anything but i keep checking my downunder every few hours to see if 'tio already not' because if yes, then im hong gan si liao gg pangkang

i can say goodbye to the heavenly waters of the infinity pool.

i really hope the sun will burn down feverishly tmr and ill be clean dry and blood free haha

okay so here are more photos from the weekend enjoi~

have a super week guys and i hope you all enjoy my fav day of the year which is tmr April 12th hahahaha

the weekend before the 12th

2011-04-11T00:55:00.004+08:00

my weekend was spent as such.

+ Balloons Scouting which cost me almost a hundred bucks and for merely 35 of them helium monsters!

+Birthday lunch at Wild Honey with Nicky-boy

+Present-scouting where i wasted time at a particular shop because there were only 2 wallets left, 1 in taka and 1 in MBS what with the whole issue of colour migration

+Cons's 21st birthday party which was a blast and i had a super time

so many familiar faces in the crowd

+ Zirca with nick zer pris ben

+ MBS when i went to the second store and again, another small tiny scratch that cant be removed. two wallets left in singapore and both with defects nuuuuuuuuuuu

so i spent sometime walking in and out of other stores and i finally decided on one and im so excited but nick refuses to let me open until my birthday so its sitting in his room closet now where i masterfully hid it in a pile of clothes. i hope twig doesnt decide to sleep there tonight and start scratching the box.

also, i love the service staff at MBS. maybe it's because they are luxury retailers but the staff at Dior and Miu Miu were ESPECIALLY attentive

like in Dior's case, they will literally walk the talk and escort (for lack of a better word) you to the front even if you dont buy anything

and the lady from Miu Miu even wished me happy birthday in advance before i left the shop because i had to fill up some form and write my birthday date down.

Seriously, how's that for GEMS and service excellence?

i was honestly super duper impressed by the lady in Dior's attitude.

Thank you goodbye and have a wonderful sunday okay?

i was giggling and grinning away and i literally bounced out of the shop just cause she was so NICE.

now see if i was like that in Tiger airways or if 1/4 of the crew were like that, im positively sure the whole budget perspective of it as an airline wouldnt be an issue at all.

innyhoo,

+ back to nick's and i got a surprise present from his mum apparently 1/2 of my present

truly, i am a very blessed girl. and in approximately almost 24 hours, i will be twenty-one!

i have no eye deer how i feel about that.

more peektures tmrrrrrrr

//

2011-04-10T23:09:00.000+08:00

luckiest girl on earth

.

2011-04-05T21:53:00.005+08:00

7 days to turning twenty-one and im still sick from 2 weeks ago

and i think my period is coming

which explains the break-out in my skin and my moody temper

which means i wont get to swim in the infinity pool

and mbs is one bitch of an expensive place to eat or basically, DO ANYTHING

and nick wont be there which is the biggest bummer

something that i've been feeling extremely down about

he has been the best. the best, the best

and i dont know how to explain how amazing he has been to me

like offering his army friend a 100 bucks to do guard duty on his behalf (if he kena) before their names were called out

and offering his credit card to buy my friends and i dinner at MBS since he wasnt going to be able to be there

something which i obviously turned down

no way in hell will i make use of him like that

and i can already hear all the haters telling me and pointing fingers , im making use of him and his money blah etc blah

but one selfish offer i did take up on was the request for him to lend his ride so my best friend can drive us to mbs and around since she has a license while i obviously, failure as usual, am still merely waiting for my BTT test what a long way more to go nuuuuuu

and april 16th

trying not to be annoyed when a bunch of people still refuse to rsvp

not to be a bitch or anything but i created the event a freaking Month ago

and it's not like i havent reminded them and im sick of CONSTANTLY talking about my party because its fucking pretentious to keep going on and on about it but if you dont RSVP then how do i know hw many to cater for??

and i wish my mother would put in more effort instead of throwing everything aside for me to do.

having to pay everything for myself out of my own pocket is a bitch

its not like i have a proper full time job anymore??

but im thankful that she's paying for catering except the party's next saturday and she hasn't called any caterers should i be worried i dont fucking know.

As you can see, i have a lot of superficial and shallow worries.

oh yeah and im officially, 11 days vices-free

go me.

haphap

2011-04-04T23:26:00.001+08:00

i miss nickcat
still sick
almost a week to my birthday!
TWENTYONE~~~

APRIL 2011 BABY

2011-04-01T18:21:00.000+08:00

IT'S APRIL!!!!!

THE COUNTDOWN TO THE PARTY OF MY LIFE BEGINS.

?

2011-03-31T01:57:00.008+08:00

see the thing is

my friend whom i shall not mention who but if you go to my facebook you will prolly see it anyway,

was really sweet and left a comment

sherlyn + nicky = loveliest couple ever

on my wall and for some sick reason or whatsoever, i was left confounded at that equation.

and i spent a great 3 mins or so trying to conjure up a perfect answer and i realized i couldnt very well do it.

i dont want to 'like' it because i didnt agree with it

and i didnt want to leave the comment unanswered because that would seem rude.

which brings me to my next point,

why the fuck do i feel this way?

lately, "OH THESE TIMES ARE HARD YEA THEY'RE MAKING US CRAZY DONT GIVE UP ON ME BABY'' doesnt seem to quit fit it.

i cannot even bring myself to say it, how many times we have fought at zouk outside zouk inside phuture outside phuture outside winebar inside winebar

and all because of all that alcohol.

you know some very faraway long time ago i was perhaps a kinda happy drunk

and now im just SAD PATHETIC AND MOSTLY ANGRY.

and i've been getting drunk one too many times as of lately.

i recently tweeted, if i can remember correctly

ah you know what im going to check twitter itself to see

ok here's a screenshot

dont know if im making any sense and yes i typed that when i was sober 10q very much

but it made perfect logical sense to me although i knew clearly that deep down

my drunken heart knows best

even my drunken mind

my drunken brain

except my drunken limbs (because they refuse to teleport me back home to my bed when i need it)

know best.

what i am trying to say is, even though im in perfect denial of the absolute truth

i cant very well take back words i blurted out (which i dont remember saying btw)

until my best friend told me every soddin' painful detail and its i swear more than cringe-worthy its die-now-or-forever-drown-daily-in-your-own-shame worthy.

i said a lot of awful stuff to nick which hurt him and as of now i still havent gotten the guts to apologize to him.

ok i decided not to type out what i said to him.

and also one thing, which only my best friend knows and no one in the world will ever ever know except ok maybe zer and phy only and that is that last thing that bothers me to no end.

and i cannot bring it in me to forgive myself for saying that.

the sad part is i remember nothing at all, nothing. absolutely nothing. except a tiny bit of the last part and i am terrified of drinking now.

terrified of the things i might say when i get drunk again, terrified that i might not be able to control myself the next time.

and the saddest thing is, not quite terrified enough to not want to continue drinking and having a good time still.

yes, i am pathetic.

greed

2011-03-30T16:14:00.003+08:00

hi good friends some of you keep asking me what i want for my birthday and because i got enough shame to tell you nothing or i'd avoid the topic entirely but then again not shameless enough to not blog about it here and since i think only my best friend reads this space i guess its safe to say i realllly really reallly would like this clutch even though i know its mega expensive

or you all wana share half half with me?

i really like it =(

http://www.asos.com/Asos/Asos-Leather-Portfolio-Clutch/Prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=1407914&cid=8730&sh=0&pge=0&pgesize=200&sort=-1&clr=Black

http://www.asos.com/Asos/Asos-Leather-Portfolio-Clutch/Prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=1409067&SearchQuery=asos%20leather%20portfolio%20clutch&sh=0&pge=0&pgesize=20&sort=-1&clr=Rust

sorry im shameless..

think im going to get flak for this

what i wanted

2011-03-30T15:45:00.000+08:00

see this was the EXACT theme i wanted for my birthday party this year

but my good friends said no...... they think im lame ='(

.

2011-03-29T20:53:00.002+08:00

this is the worst that i've ever felt.

MSTRKRFT ft. John Legend - Heartbreaker (with lyrics)

2011-03-29T13:28:00.000+08:00

i remembered the first time i heard this song.

here, for you.

sick

2011-03-27T23:03:00.003+08:00

sick of all my nights getting wasted at zouk 4/5 times we go there we spend 5 mins on the dancefloor and drinking the rest of the night away
sick of not remembering everything and only vague snippets
sick of planning for my stupid birthday party which keeps sucking money
sick of reading drunk tweet/tweets and trying to recall when did i type that and why

most of all, sick of being sick.

i caught the worst bug ever.

my fever cannot subside, my nose emits a river of never-ending phelgm

last weekend of march

2011-03-25T12:53:00.003+08:00

-patiently waiting for the 3 separate orders from ASOS to arrive

-IT IS FRIDAY.

-It is also the 25th.

-happy 29 months. that is a mighty long time.

-Zouk tonight with my favorite people (finally!)

-still stressed over the party decor though i roughly have an eye deer as to what i want

-concentrating on the april 16th one so much so that i completely didnt do jackshit preparations for my actual birthday on the 12th which is at MBS

-i really hope my friends wont be bored just lazing by the pool and having din + drinks in the room after ._.

-last weekend of march! so stoked for april